Sega ToeJam & Earl III User Manual page 9

Lamont
Lamont was born in a manger in a back alley of downtown Funkotron.
What was a manger doing in a back alley of Funkotron? This remains a
question to this day, but Lamont was born there nonetheless. Although
Lamont's mother says that Lamont was an immaculate conception,
neighbors interviewed claim that this is highly unlikely given her active
social calendar. The moment Lamont was born, a hush came over the
land and a bright star appeared above the manger. Many wise
Funkotronians bearing gifts followed the light of the star, but it turned out
to be an airplane, and they all ended up at the airport in the next city
over. Those who came upon Lamont were afraid to approach him. Some
say it is because of his powerful presence and purity. Others say it is
because he looked like a freaky little blue worm with huge bug eyes.
Whatever the reason, it was clear that he was special.
As Lamont grew up he had an ever increasing sense that destiny was
calling to him. "Lamont!" it would say. "Lamont!" Some believe this is
why Lamont was always looking over his shoulder and shouting
"WHAT!" at unexpected times. Lamont's first crushing moments came
when he discovered that his destiny was not going to lead him to
become the top all time basketball player on Funkotron. It was crushing
mainly because the basketball landed on him, and he had to be rushed to
the hospital. The day that Lamont was released from the hospital, he
happened to pass the Mall where they were holding a random drawing
for prizes. First Prize was a new jet scooter, and so Lamont scribbled his
name on a card and entered the drawing. He didn't win the jet scooter,
but he did win second prize, and this was to be crowned the new
Funkopotamous, ruler of Planet Funkotron
and Original Source of all Funk in the
Known Universe. Lamont was
flabbergasted. He had never won
anything in his life. He was
presented with roses and his
new Funk crown and given
the sacred Funk Album
collection, which he would
henceforth be responsible
for. "Speech! Speech!"
everyone cried. Unfortunately,
all Lamont could think about
was the jet scooter that he had
almost won, so after some tears,
he just said... "Thanks."
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